Note: If you decide to follow these articles, please stay for all five steps, this is NOT the complete story.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Many of you may face difficulty with this step. I did. Many of us enter depression because we have no support. But you must not forget that support is only something to help you get up, and that, for the most part, must be you.
I went crazy trying to find someone to help me. I was worried I was going to do something drastic. You know how those suicide stories go. One day, they just do it. Other than that, I was beyond miserable and needed a sounding board. Needless to say, nobody was willing to become an inanimate object.
When you feel bad that nobody is supporting you, just remember this. It’s very hard for a person to be around a depressed person. We bring them down, remind them of their own shortcomings. Everyone has an insecure part of themselves they want to hide, it’s just who we are as humans.
Eventually, I gave up. But what I found out in my search is that, friendship and love can be found in the most unexpected places.
In eight grade, I promised myself that I’ll stop going to people. I was angry at myself for being a caring person and wanting to be part of something more than myself. What I did not understand is that when I go to people, I don’t really know if they actually want me there. I wrote a poem, “Stranger” that very morning before class at approximately 7:45 am. Class started at 8:00 am. I finished it in ten minutes. Not one of my best poems, but one of my most inspired.
By next week, a girl asked me to sit next to her because I kept sitting at the back of class. It’s been nearly 3 years now that I haven’t sat at the back of my class voluntarily. I always sit at the very front where the “undesirables” stay away from. And I know for sure that the people who sit with me actually want to.
I have a cousin, one of 3 of 20 cousins on my mother’s side who live in my city. The rest are back in her hometown. We’d never got along. We both had same temperaments, and keeping us in the same room for more than 15 minutes resulted in a cat fight. Which proves Jane Austen in the fact that animosity is a leading road to friendship. We both had a similar experience, which I can’t divulge without her approval, and an unbreakable sisterly bond was built.
She’s studying physiotherapy and psychotherapy and is only 5 years older than me. Growing up with common personalities and people, and one life changing experience, we came to an undeniable understanding of each other. She went out of her way to help me in my journey, agreeing to assist me in crazy methods to make me feel better. I laugh thinking about all the absolutely impractical ideas she agreed to go along with. Things that could have landed us in more than a little trouble with our parents. Out of all those things, the one thing I will never be able to repay her for is the fact that she simply believed me. She was there when i called her at 12:00am just to cry and weep and babble on and on about how horrible I was feeling. I probably gave her headaches with the amount times I repeated my woes. And I can’t be grateful enough for that. If there’s one person in my life I trust unequivocally, it’s her. And that’s a big thing coming from me, because I don’t put my trust in anyone.
Most of all, of course my gratitude lies with Allah. I told Him that I don’t know what I want, I wanted him to give me the one thing I needed because I didn’t know what that was. And she is it. What’s even better is that she always finds ways to make me a better person without making me doubting myself. If one of us do something wrong, we give the other the cut direct.
Now she shares my enthusiasm in all girly things in my life like hairstyles, makeup, dresses and shoes. And all the tomboy things too, like cars, pool, weightlifting and sports. I’ve never thought I’d say I love my cousin more than anyone else in my family, but here we are. She’s the older sister I’ve never had, although I have 8 other female cousins who’re older than me.
What you can do
The first thing you need to do is be happy with yourself. Find people online or around you who’ll love you for who you are, and convince you to be better but never ever make you feel inferior. Once you’re comfortable in your skin, you’ll be able to face your demons and take them down.
Write poetry, keep a diary, and even better if you have one of those depression support lines in your country. They’re usually free and gives you someone to talk to. It can be done online or over the phone.
The bottom line is, you need someone or something to go to when you’re feeling down. This can also be a pet, but my mom hates cats, so I didn’t have that option.
A few quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt to back up this stuff
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?”
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
PEACE!
Previously- Step 1: Take off the grayscale glasses
Next- Step 3: Let Go of Negativity, Step 4: Find a reason to be happy.
It. Starts. Now. 
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