Sell your soul

“Why can’t they let me be? Why don’t I know what I am?
I force this hate into my heart ’cause it’s my only friend
My lips are sewn shut, I watch myself bleed
They push and pull me and it’s killing me within

Throw it all away, throw it all away!
I keep on screaming, but there’s really nothing left to say
So get away, just get away!
I keep on fighting, but I can’t keep going on this way”

–Sell Your Soul, Hollywood Undead

Well, it’s not that bad, but MUFY taking a serious toll on my physical and mental health. I totally over slept today and missed a class, which was added to my stress and fear of failure. I had perfect attendance before this. Oh damn, that is really my biggest fear ever. Letting myself down. And I did that today. HOW DID I NOT SET ALL THREE ALARMS???? Seriously, I juuust started living on my own. GIMME A BREAK HERE! Though, the teacher was amazing. She totally understood.

I haaaaaaaaate weekends. Though, I do need them. My brain does need rest. But today I kinda decided that I won’t go home without finishing my work here. I’m dead tired by the time I walk home so I can’t get any work done anyway. Might as well finish my work here and just go home to sleep. I love this place so much- it has everything to allow me to focus on just work. Gotta completely revamp my life.

Something I learned… just because I can take a rest doesn’t mean I should. Just cuz I have free time doesn’t mean I should slack off. Survival in MUFY (or Monash) means working 24/7. If your brain falls behind for a second, you’re dead. Uhuh… this is one of the reasons I hate weekends. Weekends are a LIE. Gotta sell my soul to education if I wanna do well here. Yep. Not that I mind, but change is a serious pain in the derriere.

(x___x)