If we only die once

Just a lyric from a song that is amazing to vocalise to.

I think there are a few things I’m particularly happy about now:

1. I’m starting university classes next week and I’m not 20 yet! WHAAAAT. Mission accomplished!
2. I don’t need to return to BD for the next 4.5 years- well the next 3 years at least (except in, Allah forbid, emergencies). I have a unit overload in my degree, so I’ll have to… Idk, I;ll figure it out, orientation week isn’t over yet.
3. I’m not freaking out about my uncertsin future anymore, I’ve got solid subjects and progression plans by which I can create a definite career for myself at amost any point in life, if only because I have confidence in my own stubborn-to-a-fault determination.
4. My weight loss is so noticeable that people commented on it over video call. OMG, REALLY? (ignores the fact that I’ve been stress eating for the last week)
5. I only occasionally burst into random tears because I’m scared to death about the things only The Omnipotent can control. I call that mental progress, since I don’t have high blood pressure related issues either.

Alhamdulillah. I’m realising Malaysia is increasingly pleasurable to live in. If I didn’t have a major issue with the climate, I might decide to stay here. But I can’t- thank you,  allergies and hatred of hot temperatures. I have Cheetos, Halal Subway, Bubba Gump STEAKS. What else does a hangry girl need? Nothing. (Food-ly speaking)

And I don’t wanna jinx it by putting it in writing,  but who’m I kidding? I write everything down. Tashfia maaaaaaaaybe joining me next year. InshaAllah. I crazy crazy hope so. I need her,  even if I’ll probably never admit it in spoken words. Maybe one day if I’m high on pain meds or something. MAYBE. She’s a good friend, and maybe in her own way,  one of the best kinds. Speaking to her kinda takes the edge off the lingering pain. Or maybe I should say everlastnig, but hey,  I ain’t complaining. We all need loss in life to keep us grateful for what remains. Always stay grateful. InshaAllah,  that is what brings the good things coming our way.