Self-esteem

I think standing up for yourself is one of the most admirable qualities a person can have. It’s difficult sometimes… To gauge whether we’re being confident or arrogant, but the truth is… It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission. It may not always be the right thing to do, but sometimes we’re left with no choice.

So, to boosting self-esteem I say- go forth and conquer.

Not sure why I keep complaining about this… But damn, I’m sick of being ill. I’m glad I’m not panicking and getting high bp like last time, but its still bad. I think its the flu now, not a bacterial infection. But eitherway, its breaking me down. I’m kinda brain dead at this point, making silly grammatical mistakes and typos because my fingers are shaky. I’m sitting at the doctor’s now, typing this cuz I didnt want to burden myself with the Note, so I dont have a book to get lost in. Had a wonderful time getting lost last night though. Aflame. Sigh. This series is just my soul series.

Anywho, I’m dealing with three huge problems this time- fatigue, cuz anything more than walking a few steps is making me break out in cold sweat. MAJOR sore throat, I can’t even swallow water without pain. And finally, confusion- which means I can’t study for my economics test this saturday, and even if I do, I won’t be able to write crap in the actual test. 

From what I can tell, I’m hyper sensitive to the viruses and bacteria here. I ignore the fact that I don’t even want to BE here. That race done been run, and I’m also done nagging on about it. Life is never predictable and never goes to plan. I’ve made my peace with that. So, I’ve been rolling around wrapped up in my comforter watching… a certain TV series on my laptop. Of course, the bed too small for actual rolling and I’m unable to fall asleep in the middle of the day, but who’s counting? 

The lady in front of me is playing Candy Crush. So, typically Mom-ish. Cute. And my head is throbbing so much I’m actually considering lying down on the floor. I had to go to college to pass my biology report to friend of mine so she can submit it for me. 

I’m losing it. I don’t wanna be ill. Help.